


Always Sometimes

by monkeymeme911



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Desire, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-10-17 23:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeymeme911/pseuds/monkeymeme911
Summary: Before James, there was Lucius. He had always been there, from her first year at Hogwarts to her last year on Earth.





	1. Magical Drafts and Potions

**Author's Note:**

> Set during the Marauders Era over the span of nearly a decade, with seven chapters dedicated to each year of Lily's schooling at Hogwarts and one chapter for her time in the Order of the Phoenix. Perspective alternates every now and again between Lily and Lucius.

Lucius had always liked Potions. To him, it was the class that made the most difference in a wizard’s development. While Defense Against the Dark Arts was applicable in his everyday life, most students already knew how to duel; few knew how to brew. It gave him the upper hand in many areas, as a good Polyjuice or Felix Felicis always beat the spell equivalent. In fact, he had just finished making the latter in Advanced Potions, and was the only person to successfully do so. Professor Slughorn had praised him enthusiastically in front of the other students and had continued to do so even after he exited the classroom. Several girls had even asked to study for the winter term test with him. He simply couldn’t help but look smug as he sauntered through the corridors with his friends, headed for the Slytherin common room.  
The look on his face quickly hardened as he rounded the corner. The first-year Gryffindors and Slytherins were crowding the hallway, chattering noisily as they headed to Potions. As a Prefect, a disruptive passageway naturally irked him, but it was not this that bothered him so. Rather, it was the group of Gryffindor boys attempting to jinx Severus Snape. There were four of them: one tall and tired-looking, another short and fat, the third with long black hair, and the last wearing circular glasses.  
“Stop it!” a feminine voice exclaimed. Lucius moved his eyes from the boys and found near Severus a small, red-headed girl with an annoyed look plastered on her delicate features. He had seen her before, as she was always with Severus.  
“Piss off, Evans,” said the dark-haired boy that Lucius knew. He was Narcissa’s little cousin, Sirius Black.  
“We’re just trying to get to class,” the Evans girl continued sternly, grabbing Severus’ arm. She pulled him further away from the bullies, but was met with a visible frown from the bespectacled boy.  
“Why do you care so much anyway, Evans?” he asked cruelly. “Do you like this _freak_ or something?”  
The posse sniggered. The girl’s face instantly flushed and twisted furiously. It seemed as if a nerve was hit. “I like him much better than I’ll ever like you, Potter!”  
The boy called Potter puffed out his chest defensively. By now, a small crowd of first-years had gathered around the six involved. He glared at her and then at Severus, but did nothing. “Get out of here, Evans, and take Snivellus with you.”  
She wasted no time in shooting him a nasty look and turning away from the group. As she left, however, Lucius saw the stubby member of the gang stick out his foot.  
“Take that!” the chubby boy shouted as the girl fell to the ground. The books in her hands, as well as the paper tucked between their pages, went flying in all directions. The sleepy-looking boy, surprisingly attentive, quickly grabbed and restrained Severus before he could attack the offender. A roar of laughter erupted from the audience.  
Lucius decided that his role as an onlooker was over. He told his companions that he would catch up with them, then straightened his posture slightly and strided over to the scene, his Prefect badge gleaming menacingly on his chest. The spectators, having noticed him, swiftly scattered, leaving only the victims and perpetrators. As soon as Severus saw him, his face relaxed, while a mortified look spread across the faces of the Gryffindor troublemakers. Instead of disciplining them immediately, however, he couldn’t help but notice the girl dejectedly collecting her possessions off of the dungeon floor. Something peculiar came over him as he kneeled down and retrieved her copy of _Magical Drafts and Potions_.  
“I believe this is yours,” Lucius said, extending the textbook towards her.  
She looked first at the book and then at his robes with a puzzled expression on her face. It was clear that she was mistrustful of his gesture, but he kept his arm outstretched patiently. After a few seconds, she slowly reached for the book, locking eyes with him as her small hand touched the hard cover. There was a flash of green the color of spring growth, and, before he realized it, she was up.  
“Thanks,” she mumbled bashfully, eyes downcast. Her face was the same shade as her hair.  
“My pleasure,” Lucius said coolly, shifting his gaze from the flustered girl to the petrified boys. They had released Severus from the headlock and were now standing rigidly in a line. Severus had the ghost of a smile on his pallid face.  
“How foolish can one be,” Lucius began sourly, “to bother a Slytherin student in the vicinity of his own common room? Wouldn’t you figure that a prefect would be around to correct you?”  
The boys were silent. The portly lad looked especially spooked. Not many first-years knew a seventh-year student, but it was evident that they had heard of him. Of all the Prefects at Hogwarts, Lucius was regarded as the most ruthless. Tales of his verbal abuse and expeditious deduction of house points spread among the underclassmen like wildfire. Handsome, rich, and the star of the Slytherin Quidditch team, he was still popular despite it all. His reputation preceded him and that fact aided him in situations like this. Choosing his prey, he stepped closer to Sirius.  
“I’m especially disappointed in you, Sirius. Narcissa won’t be happy knowing you run with a crowd like this,” Lucius said sharply. The boy's face dropped and he shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his favorite cousin. "But isn't she already displeased with you for your house assignment?"  
“Leave him alone.”  
Lucius looked to his left and found that the Potter boy had stepped out of the line, defiance lacing his words. Normally, such an act would warrant aggression on Lucius’ part, but he remembered that the boy before him was only eleven years old. A mocking smile crept along his lips.  
“I was only going to take away forty points for this incident,” Lucius started condescendingly, “but I’ll make it fifty for you.” He heard Severus snigger.  
The drained-looking boy immediately grabbed Potter and pulled him back into formation. He straightened his posture slightly and, for a split second, he didn’t look so childish. “We’re sorry for the commotion. Please let us go to class.”  
“Us too,” a voice piped up behind him: the girl with flames for hair and a forest for eyes.  
Lucius scanned all of their faces once again before saying, “Nobody’s going anywhere until a proper apology is issued.”  
They reluctantly turned to Severus and were about to mutter their most insincere apology when Lucius stopped them.  
“Apologize,” he stated, “to her.”  
The girl looked confused as all heads turned to her. The pink color was returning to her cheeks as Lucius explained.  
“It’s unbecoming of any young man to involve a woman in his quarreling. Leave a lady out of your pointless feuding.”  
An uncomfortable silence fell over them. They were only children, but Lucius knew that they were on the cusp of grasping this concept. He was therefore unsympathetic to their anxious fidgeting, especially that of the plump boy. After a minute, the drowsy boy piped up.  
“Lily,” he began slowly, raising his eyes from the ground to her face, “I’m sorry.”  
_What a pretty name_.  
The rest of the gang followed suit, bashfully interacting with the vivacious girl. Her face remained unamused with each apology, her disdain deepening when Potter, the last of them, stepped up to her. His mouth quivered slightly as if he was about to either laugh, cry, or both.  
“I’m sorry about Peter,” he said, trailing off, “and that you’re friends with such a loser.”  
The girl’s expression contorted into anger. Lucius too became cross, but he quickly neutralized his frustration. It was unlike him to lose his composure.  
“Professor McGonagall will hear about this,” he declared venomously, ending the interaction before Lily could get a word in.  
Severus was at her side in seconds. “Let’s go, Lily.” The girl nodded, giving James another look before putting her back to them altogether.  
Lucius watched as the duo left the scene. It sure was a peculiar site, an awkward Slytherin boy with a fiery Gryffindor girl, but he guessed they had history. Severus had once shamefully mentioned where he was from, a shabby muggle neighborhood, so he figured they had met there. Even with the years of friendship, however, Lucius knew a place like Hogwarts would tear them apart. With opposing houses, friend groups, and blood statuses, they simply stood no chance. Still, he watched them gently as they hurried to class.  
As they turned the corner, he noticed Lily glance over her shoulder. It seemed as if she was peering at Potter at first, but the softness of her expression revealed something else entirely: she was looking at him. A funny little smile was on her lips, and Lucius considered returning it. In one instance, grey met green, and, in the next, she was gone.  
Lucius dismissed the four hoodlums and headed to the common room with the sudden thought of a flower arrangement. His anniversary with Narcissa was coming up, and he wondered if a bouquet of lilies would suffice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during early December of Lucius' seventh year and Lily's first year. He is 17 and she is 11.


	2. Faucet Failure

Severus was many things, but a fast runner was not one of them. Lily observed this fact as he trailed behind her, huffing and puffing as he gradually slowed to a halt. While it was true that they had climbed a few sets of stairs and sprinted down several corridors, the boy was already unreasonably tired.  
“Just go on without me, Lily,” Severus called ahead weakly.  
The girl glanced behind her and reluctantly decelerated. An audible sigh escaped her lips. “I was the one who jinxed Potter, so leaving you behind is out of the question.”  
He was now leaning against a wall, eyebrows furrowed. “Just let them get me. Those twats can only do so much.”  
Lily shook her head stubbornly. “We have to keep going, Sev-”  
“Where are we, Lily?” Severus interrupted, annoyance coating his words. “I’ve never even been to this part of the castle.”  
Lily turned her attention to their surroundings. She searched the hallways with frantic eyes and came to an unsettling realization: she had never been to this part of the castle, either. Being only a second year, she additionally had no means of figuring that out. Aside from classes and meals, she and Severus didn’t get out much.  
“Didn’t we pass the Great Hall?” Lily asked quietly, walking along the wall. The architecture here looked particularly old, even more so than other areas on campus.  
“I don’t know,” Severus stated bitterly.  
Lily continued with her observations, disregarding Severus’ sour mood. While he wasn’t being particularly helpful, she didn’t blame him. Being the primary target of Potter’s gang for so long took a toll on him like no other. It seemed as if they harassed him every day, and weekends were no exception. The two of them had simply been studying in the inner courtyard when the posse had approached him this morning. Potter insisted that Severus had tampered with his cauldron in Potions the day before, and was intent on making him pay. They seemed to ignore Lily altogether, aside from an awkward smile from Lupin. Black was on him first, pushing him around as Potter readied his wand. Lily realized he was preparing for a hex and decided to act first. She casted _Slugulus Eructo_, thus beginning the witch hunt.  
“Is that a door?”  
Severus’ voice cut through her thoughts and the girl jolted back to reality. Before her was an old door that seemed to blend into the wall. It was bizarrely ominous, as if it wasn’t supposed to be opened at all. Lily unintentionally took a step back.  
“I have a bad feeling about it,” she said, eyeing the door uneasily.  
As the boy opened his mouth to reply, the distinct sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway. Lily froze instantly and stayed still for what seemed like an eternity. Severus, however, was only immobilized for a second. He quickly grabbed Lily and ushered her through the odd door, disregarding her reluctance to do so.  
Almost as quickly as he had rushed inside, Severus was attempting to get back out. “I can’t stay in here, Lily, it’s a girls’ bathroom!”  
It was true: this was a girls’ bathroom. As soon as they had ducked in, they were greeted by the smell of sewage and a plethora of puddles on the floor. They saw first the line of chipped stone sinks, then the row of wooden stalls, but no urinals, which made the boy lose all of his composure. Severus had always been startled by the opposite sex, and it didn’t help that Potter tormented him about it all of last year. He was now scrambling back towards the exit, genuinely mortified.  
Lily rolled her eyes. “This isn’t the time to be embarrassed, Sev. If you go back out there, you’re caught.”  
Severus’ face was bright red. “I’ll take my chances! Do you remember when they started that rumor about me and the girls’ changing room? I’m not the pervert that they think I am.”  
He moved to open the door, but Lily stopped him. She had a worried expression on her face. “Where will you even go?”  
Severus paused for a moment. He looked clueless, but, at the same time, determined not to be in a female restroom. He finally said, “The Prefects’ bathroom.”  
Lily was confused. “How? There’s a password.”  
“Lucius.”  
Her stomach did a somersault. For some reason, she could not find her voice, prompting her friend to take the silence as approval.  
Severus slowly creaked open the door and stuck his head out. After confirming that the coast was clear, he slinked out into the hallway. Lily began to follow him, but he shook her off.  
“The Prefects' bathroom is just a hunch,” he admitted. “Just stay here and hide for a little bit.”  
“I don’t like the idea of splitting up,” she said wearily.  
Severus took her hand and squeezed it. “Let’s meet at our spot in 15 minutes. They’ll be worn out by then.”  
Another protest erupted from her lips, but his mind was already made up. He shot Lily his most reassuring smile before jogging towards the staircase. Her shoulders felt heavy as she closed the door behind him.  
She truthfully didn’t think the Prefects' bathroom would work. While the school year had just started, she was almost positive they had already changed the password over the summer. Whatever gouge he received was likely outdated, but she had failed to bring up that point altogether due to the strange paralysis that accompanied the mention of Lucius Malfoy. What confused her most about this reaction was that she hardly knew him enough to be so interested. He had picked up her books once and fixed her scarf while they waited for the train to London last Christmas, but that was it. Most of what she knew about him came from Severus, who praised him almost as often as he insulted Potter. Through these words of admiration, she learned of a positive side to the most notorious Prefect the school had seen in a decade. Lucius was firstly a gifted potioneer, being part of the esteemed Slug Club, and frequently spent nights teaching Severus advanced brews. He was also a skilled duelist, a natural-born leader, and the best quidditch player at school, among all the other things Severus claimed him to be. He also donated to St Mungo’s. When described like this, Lucius seemed more like a good human being than just some cruel, divine-like entity that tormented Gryffindors and Muggle-borns.  
Lily was suddenly consumed with embarrassment. Her best friend was somewhere in this very castle running for his life while she was here thinking about some pretentious blood-purist. She shook her head aggressively and focused her attention back on the task at hand: hiding. She looked around the gloomy, poorly-lit bathroom, taking in the large cracked and spotted mirror and the empty candle-holders, and realized altogether that it was the most depressing place in the castle. She made her way towards the toilets, taking care to step over the brown puddles that littered the floor, and opened the first cubicle. To her disgust, the toilet was overflowing with a dark sludge that reminded her vaguely of melted tar. She proceeded down the row, finding a similar atrocity in each bowl, until reaching the last one, which was surprisingly half-way clean. Lily begrudgingly sat on the seat, pulled her legs up to form a sort of fetal position, and waited. All she could see in front of her was that damaged mirror and it provided no comfort.  
The girl had been waiting for about ten minutes when the bathroom door opened. The noise itself severely startled Lily because it had been eerily and utterly silent for what seemed like forever. The footsteps that followed stunned her even more because they were not just one set of footsteps but two. Potter and Black flashed through her mind until one of them spoke.  
“Is this really the place?” a raspy, feminine voice asked. It sounded more like a complaint than a question. Lily curiously waited for a response but picked up only on a grunt.  
The two people had advanced further into the bathroom and were now in her line of sight. Through the small crack in the wooden stall, she made out two figures: one tall and slender and the other shorter and more curvaceous. They were wearing hoods and facing the sinks, their backs to Lily entirely. Due to a combination of the poor lighting and the mirror’s dirtiness, she could make out no other details in the glass’ reflection, but concluded they were a man and woman.  
“This sink.”  
Lily froze. It was the man who spoke, and something about his voice surprised her.  
“What about it?” Another inquiry from the woman. Lily impatiently waited for a reply from the male but was disappointed to see him simply shake his head.  
After a minute, he eventually said, “Look at the snake.”  
Lily started to shake. She leaned closer to the stall’s crack, attempting to get a better look. As she inched nearer, she started to see the pale, pointed face, the cold, gray eyes, the-  
_Bang!_  
Lily fell face-first into the floor just then, the flimsy wooden door banging into the wall next to it. The pair, alarmed by the noise, turned around, wands drawn.  
“What’s this?” the woman said guardedly.  
Lily’s head throbbed. She silently cursed the weak stall as she lifted her face, finding two sets of legs approaching her. A sense of fear quickly consumed her as the duo closed in.  
“It’s a student,” a smooth, familiar voice declared. Lily was on her feet just in time to see Lucius Malfoy stop right in front of her.  
The man was frowning, but not necessarily at her. Rather, it looked as if he was dismayed by the entire situation. There was an uncharacteristic air of disorder about him as well. He was wearing a wrinkled pair of Hogwarts robes, which was abnormal because he was no longer a student. The hood had fallen during the commotion and she saw that his hair was in a messy, loose ponytail. His eyes were somewhat sullen, as if he had not been getting enough sleep. Even his already-pale face was whiter. It was simply unlike him to be disheveled, so Lily found herself staring at him curiously. Lucius must have noticed her gaze because he self-consciously turned away and allowed his companion to take point.  
“What are you doing here, little girl?” she inquired wolfishly.  
Lily opened her mouth to answer but no words came out. She could feel her throat growing tighter as she gathered who this woman might be. She was beautiful in a dark way, with thick, shiny black hair, flawless, pale skin, and a strong jaw. Her eyes were large and heavily-lidded with long lashes and a roguish glint. She, like Lucius, wore Slytherin robes, although it was clear that she too was graduated. While she did not know the woman by name, she reminded her strongly of Sirius Black.  
“Cat got your tongue?” the woman asked antagonistically, pressing her wand against Lily’s face. The girl stepped back a few paces fearfully. She eyed Lucius and found that he was already looking at her.  
“Please, I didn’t see anything, I-”  
“I’m going to wipe her memory, Lucius,” she stated, cutting off the girl’s protest.  
Just as the wand was about to come in contact with her cheek again, Lucius stepped between them. His face gave away no emotions, but she was nonetheless glad to be saved.  
“She’s just a girl, Bellatrix,” he said sternly.  
The woman named Bellatrix narrowed her eyes at her partner then glanced at Lily’s frightened face. She reluctantly lowered her wand, with Lucius glaring at her all the while. “You’re too serious,” she huffed.  
Lily let out a sigh of relief as Lucius stepped in front of her. He was leaning towards her slightly, as to close the height gap between them. Despite the threat that both of them posed, she was thankful to be facing him rather than her.  
“Your name,” he started, “Lily, right?”  
Hearing her name come from his lips made her stomach flip. She nodded shyly. This affirmation caused the shortest of flash smiles to appear on his mouth and he leaned in closer. Lily caught a glimpse of disapproval ripple across Bellatrix’s features before he filled her vision.  
“Lily, we’ve found what we’re looking for and are leaving now. I trust that you won’t cause a ruckus about this?”  
She gulped. His face was now mere inches away and he was smirking very faintly. The smell of spearmint tickled her nostrils. He was looking at her expectantly with steel-gray orbs. Although she had the feeling that the two were doing something criminal in the bathroom, she couldn’t help but want to appease him.  
“No,” she said finally, shamefully.  
The man smiled. It was the kind of smile that could move mountains. Instead of ending the interaction there, however, Lucius placed a hand softly on her head. The contact made Lily jolt but she did not pull away. If anything, she leaned into him. Seeing this, he began to stroke her hair gently, at first focusing on the crown then gradually moving to include the tips. She kept her eyes downcast as he petted her, her face already as red as her hair. Even without looking at him, she could tell he was amused. A flurry of emotions surged through her with each touch: confusion, humiliation, and, above all else, delight.  
Suddenly, he pulled an auburn strand ever so slightly. “Good.”  
At that, Bellatrix loudly cleared her throat. Lucius stopped the twirling and his mouth stiffened. He almost looked disappointed as he straightened, releasing the long lock of silky hair.  
“Best be on our way,” he said rigidly, looking past Lily.  
“_Best be on our way_,” Bellatrix repeated sardonically, brushing past the girl. Lucius gave the woman a testy look before following her towards the door.  
Lily’s face burned. Not a single muscle in her body would move, leaving the girl stranded in the middle of the restroom. The door open and closed and the footsteps gradually faded until the only thing she could hear was a faucet dripping. It was then, in the loneliness of that abandoned bathroom, that she realized she was helpless. She wasn’t sure what just happened but she knew it was bad and that she could have done more. She could have asked questions or drawn her wand or just have stayed properly hidden to begin with. Undoubtedly the most disappointing aspect of it all was her weakness to sweet words and a tender touch. Her shoulders began to shake and the beginnings of tears formed in her eyes.  
“Send Severus my regards.”  
Lily whirled around and was surprised to find Lucius still there, lingering on the door frame. She saw a trace of unease, or perhaps concern, pulse across his face. As soon as their eyes locked, however, he shut the door forcefully. The slam echoed through the lavatory and filled her ears.  
Lily trudged to the mirror and peered at her reflection. Her hair was a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place in early September of Lily's second year. Lucius is graduated and already involved in Voldemort's gang through Bellatrix. The book description of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom is used, where the Chamber of Secrets is opened via a copper faucet with a small snake etched into it. Myrtle herself is absent because she is still haunting Olive Hornby in the 1970s.


End file.
